eggos | (no subject)

It has only been a short time since meeting the strange man with the strange eyes. The man who says he was once human and now only pretends to be. Armand. He had promised his mind would always be open, which is a strange thing to promise. But perhaps it will make him easier to find.

She wants to know more about him. She wants to understand why he reacted the way he did when she'd told him her powers didn't always work. She wants to know if he can teach her to be more powerful than Darrow. Not powerful enough to leave: just powerful enough to protect her friends.

Finding him would be easier if she had a picture of him, but with a scarf over her eyes and her phone hissing white noise into her ear, she sits on her bed, Dustin the cat curled up against her crossed shins, and she recalls his face. His strange eyes. His strange nails. The copper-brown of his skin. Pretty, she thinks, a thought she hadn't allowed herself to have then, her suspicion too high. Now, it comes freely, in part because it's true.

The Void fills in with fits and starts. His leg. His arm. A shoulder. His hair. It would be easier with a picture, but it gets easier every time she does it this way. And then there he is. El watches him, the black of The Void echoing around them as she does.

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"Memory blocks," she echoes. She thinks briefly of Mama, of the way her brain seemed broken and trapped in the loop. She'd been able to learn of Kali, but it had not been easy. Could she learn to be better, with Armand's help? Could she repair Mama, if she learned how to extend her powers — how to un excise them?

Oh dear. He really is dealing with an absolute beginner, isn't he? So unaware of the skill she could possess and wield, and yet, so tempting for Armand to be able to shape her in the exact way he wants.

"Think of your powers like a surgeon," he says with a pleasant smile, not too big, not too excited. "You'll act as the scalpel. Decide what should stay and what should be plucked out, for their betterment."

"How do I know what is for their better mint?" El asks, narrowing her eyes in concentration. She wants to make sure she understands. There are many things that she can understand right away, and after so many years in Darrow, nuance has finally, mostly, become one of them — but reading people and knowing what is and isn't good for them is one of the things that continues to elude her.

"You take away the pain, of course," Armand replies smoothly. Isn't that what he always does? Isn't it lucky, then, that in taking away the pain, he so often is able to also etch away his own mistakes?

Luck. Surely, it's all just luck.

"Experience will teach that to you. Are you mortal?" he asks. "Or do your powers affect your ageing as well?"

El frowns, equal parts thoughtful and unsure why it matters — and a little bit unsure of the answer. She has grown, after all. She's grown and developed and things about her have changed. She supposes that's her answer.

"I think I am mortal," she says. Not like Nathan, who came back when he died.

She thinks. She isn't sure.

Interesting.

There is an easy way to test that, but Armand is quite far away and besides, he'll have to tend to Daniel soon. Still, he knows the curiosity is going to linger, and he'll happily tend to it at some point soon. "Well, we all have flaws," he deadpans, raising a brow at her. "Mortality doesn't mean your powers aren't an incredible thing."